How to conquer approach anxiety...

Let me tell you, the first couple times I approached a girl ever I stuttered. Yes, I stuttered. It was quite embarrassing, but after putting myself 'in the fire' over and over by constantly approaching I finally got to a place where I could for the most part approach the women I wanted too. 

And you can too.

A lot of guys have told me that the issue for them isn't the fact that they can't approach, but more so that they don't know what to say, so they just don't approach. Let me tell you that's bullshit. You can have the perfect script of what to say to a girl and still not approach! Approaching is its own skill to develop not correlating to having something to say. In fact, approaching is honestly the hardest part of dating and social interaction. If you can get this part down, all the other stuff will eventually flow together. But not having this down will lead to you constantly visiting pornhub.

See to get rid of approach anxiety means you have to get yourself out of your comfort zone over and over by approaching even if your afraid. After you do this a number of times, the personal anxiety begins to go away. In all honestly, there will still almost always be anxiety from your body when it comes to approaching, especially if you really like the girl, but what's different is your 'personal' or 'psychological' anxiety. Because you ( your brain) knows you've approached and survived a number of times, you know that even though your afraid, things will turn out ok. And that's how you get rid of approach anxiety... 

Beating adhd

How I beat my adhd

Why it's ok to be sad during the holidays...

But I had a quick thing to share.

The Holidays have officially begun. Bring in Frank Sinatra...

There's this notion that the holidays are the happiest time of the year... and consequently we feel that we 'should' be happy.

The ironic is that during this time of the year, psychiatrists, therapists are FILLED with patients.... who get depressed during the holidays.

The reason I realized is this whole facade of 'everyone should be happy, this is the holidays!' that the holiday time usually carries with it. Therefore, I, or one feels like they 'should' be happy... and when they're not, and it seems like 'everyone else is' one feels upset, already adding to the state of not being happy they already were in!
This leads to depression. Truth be told, most of this is just marketing crap that companies use to get you in to their stores during the holidays. Buy buy buy...



But the truth is, if your not happy, you shouldn't feel like you should. You 'should' be congruent to how you feel. If you feel sad, upset, not happy, why should you feel like you should pretend to be happy? That's in my opinion why people storm mental health office during the holidays. This lie that one 'should' be happy...

One should be congruent. If your feeling depressed, feel depressed. Its when we try to fake our feelings is when shit gets worst. Some people may actually need to go see a dr. either way, holidays or not. But this whole thing about 'pretending' to be happy... and feeling like 'we should' needs to stop. It's just a tactic from companies.

If your not happy, then the happiest place to be is to be NOT HAPPY. In other words, feel how you feel. Don't try to fight it, deny it or even worst, change it.
Be where you at. And perhaps from that place, some happyness will arise...

You haven't had sex with her until you've had sex with her....

Sup Fella's,

Alright I'm keeping this one super short and simple.

The title speaks for itself, You haven't had sex with her until you've had sex with her!

What the hell does that mean?

I'll start by telling a story of a guy whom I was coaching yesterday.

This gentelman was telling me about a situation recently where he met a girl off Plenty Of Fish, and things were magical. They were texting poems back to each other, met up on 2 amazing dates, and seemed like they were in love... all in the span of a couple weeks. They planned to meet up a third time... when suddenly yet slowly the girl started to show less attention and seemed less interested. He had no idea what happened. All this resulted in a breakdown when finally he sent a text and got no reponse(normally he would atleast a response back that second). The brief 'relationship' (not even exclusive) was over. He had no idea what happened and thought this really was the one...

Here's what happened. somewhere around the 2 week mark they were planning to get together for the third time and really hit it off (wink wink)... they talked dirty to each other and both seemed very eager. Given this was great news, he started to drop his guard. He stopped being on his toes. He laid back and put his feet on the table and said 'fuck it, i'm done, I got her, I'm awesome, we're going to hook up and then she's going to MY GIRL!"... Ofcourse, not conciously, but he said that. But really, he thought all was good in the hood. And that turned out to be the beggining of the end.... that's what messed everything up.

Why did that mess everything up you say? He dropped his guard. And when you do that, you get knocked out like in fight. He stopped being the mysterious interesting and attractive guy he was in the beggining. And just you guys know, it's not about what you say, it's about your VIBE and who your BEING. Women can feel your energy. You don't have to say it. So when you drop your guard, they can feel that energy. That energy is different then the mysterious, attractive and cool guy who he began being in the beggining. Even if you say the EXACT SAME WORDS, the energy is still different and THAT'S WHAT COUNTS, THE ENERGY. Therefore, she started becoming less and less interested to the point where the stopped responding to him. Sad story, but it happens all the time.

Here's what he SHOULD have done. Kept being cool, mysterious and attractive. Whatever was working was working. He shouldn't have changed it.
Understand that until you've had sex with a woman, you haven't had sex with her, no matter what she says. This is the most important part of this post. Before having sex with a woman, it's like you've got a greencard. Your not a citizen yet. And as we all know, citizens get much more perks then non-citizens, obviously. Same applies with women. After he had sex with her, then he could of started to lay back a little and some what put his feet up while still being atleast a bit mysterious and cool. You never want to stop that, but after sex, things are different. She's committed to you in a way. Even in one night stands. One night stands can become relationships too...
And the other thing is. Women are wishy-washy. Until it's happend, it HASN'T happened. So don't turn into this nice, needy guy just because she 'promised' sex. After sex is when relationships should happen anyways.
Moral of this story? Keep your guard up and keep doing what works... atleas until you guys hook up. Then you can let you guard down a little... and be as cute and fluffy as you want. I'm not condoning being FAKE... I'm just saying keep it interesting/attractive until sex has happened. Because until then, your in a different place with a woman. I don't care what she says. This is how it works.
DO NOT CHANGE YOUR GAME, KEEP DOING WHAT WORKS UNTIL YOU'VE GOTTEN THE RESULT.
And if he would of done that, he would of not only had sex with this girl, but they would of been in a relationship and he would of experienced all the love and good emotions he was looking for with her.

Good luck guys

-Reza

How to get YOUR Dream DATE

Whos Your DREAM DATE?


Lets make this one fun... think about it, who's YOUR dream date? If you could go out with anyone who would it be.... For me, it's gotta be Mariah Milano or a a  younger salma hayek. Damn she was SMOKING in Dusk Till Dawn...

Better yet, now, ask yourself... What do you need to do in order to have this women? Well, what do I mean? You can spend your time jerking off to the computer screen wishing you could have this sort of woman with a tissue box and your KnY Jelly... or you can ask yourself what it would take for you to be able to Date Your DreamDate... your dream girl.

See, like anything, you have to work for something that you really want. These dream women.. they put work into themselves to look hot; they take care of themselves WELL. They also learn how to be sexy, and feminent as well as finances, passions, acting, etc. The most basic of course is their looks, but the women you want really TAKE care of themselves... to maintain that... so there for you have to maintain yourself. For Men, our looks isn't what we need to put the Bulk of your attention on.. it's our life which therefore alters our personality and thats the real thing we're trying to change. Instead of 'faking' personality, we actually BECOME the personality we want to be like.

 The work that you have to do when it comes to getting your dream girl/ girls, is the work on yourself . It's handling your life. When you handle your life, the women come. It's a funny thing, but women are a great source of motivation and inspiration for handling your life, particulalry the ones you really want.

 Who's your dream girl? And what do you need to handle in your life to naturally have her? What do you need to do to be naturally attractive?

Remember, do the work, don't say your going to do it in your head/ later... procrastination leads to nowhere. 

 The trick is to get the goals to be ABOUT YOUR LIFE... and not neccesairly about impressing the girl... but impressing YOURSELF and using the DREAM GIRL as MOTIVATION

VERY Profound. Re read the last part, if not the whole thing again. Nothing like women to inspire a man... espicially a very hot one. ;-)

Size Doesn't Matter..

Size doesn't matter... At least not with your wallet

I once heard a good looking hot female friend of mine tell me that she would rather go with the guy making an average salary then someone who's 'rich'.... Because the former is more fun.

It sorta didn't make sense to me... Well, actually it did. See I was fortunate enough to have learned these 'basic' concepts from the world of dating and seduction coaching from a young age... 14 to be exact.

There I never felt a strong need to spend money on women... In fact, women have probably done more for me 'monitarily' speaking then I have done for them. Probably by a good margin.

How is that possible? And no these weren't sugar mommas... They were regular girls.

It's because I didn't buy into this bullshit about men needing to have money to impress women. It's the biggest load of crap I've ever heard.

Money should never be used to impress women. Money should be used to impress yourself. And that's it. You don't need to take women on expensive dates and spend absorbent amounts of money. Heck, you don't even 'have' to take them out at all....

But whatever you do you need to be real. If you want to spend money on women from a place of authenticity, and having it be real, then by all means go ahead. I'm not saying dint spend money on women... I'm saying you don't HAVE to do it to IMPRESS her... You do it because you choose to. Because you want to impress yourself.

That's how I got away with all these times of not spending money on women... And still having women fall for me.
I'm real. I don't want to spend anything on women... Unless I really want to.
Like buying tickets to a play because I want her to feel great because it makes me feel great to give her that... Or I'm paying for the meal because she payed last time.. But honestly I do like being wined and dined ;)

Anyways, the major point in this blog entry is to get you to understand that the size of your wallet doesn't matter as far as women go... It's your personality.

I don't mean don't handle your finances. Do that. But do it for you and not to impress her.

So on a bigger end... Don't be a Doctor so you can get girls... I've seen those same doctors shell out the money they earn from trying to impress women to come to workshops so they can learn how to stop doing that.

Re read the last paragraph. It's important.

And if you want to be rich for you, like I do, or because you just 'like' being the sugar daddy... Then fine, but you have to actually want that for you.

When you do stuff for you, then you become fun. Because your happy and more importantly, fulfilled.

And don't all girls just want to have fun?? ;)